Adoiiiiiiiii!!!

Last week membe gue report, "Kak Sya, Miss NS tanye kitorang, kenal tak kak sya. Dia kate dia mintak kak sya jumpe dia, dia nak kenal... Dia cakap 'Saya tak penah nampak dia dalam kelas tapi assignment dia anta, test dia buat.' Pastu Miss NS cakap kak sya smart ke ape tah."  

Wahha. Eh apsal tulisan aku italic2 lagi?? Hehe. Yeah! So tadi siang aku pegi bilik Miss NS, aku ajak mektur teman. Trr trr! This is a long entry, sile jgn bace kalo rasa2 cam tak saba tu. Aku trai recall sumer yg aku cakap ngan dia tadi, utk ingatan aku sampai bebile...........................
Aku: Im here bcoz u said u wanna see me?
Miss NS: Yess...... Please be seated dulu b4 i start cakap...
Aku: First of all, saya nak cakap... Saya tau saya salah... Attendance saya ke kelas Cik NS...
Miss NS: Boleh crite sket kenapa? You ada masalah? You can be barred from taking the exam you know that?
Aku: Actually camni. Saya nak withdraw dan tunggu sampai exam slip kuar, so saya akan cross out subjek nih, pastu buat correction. Tapi at the same time, saya still anta esemen ngan wat test sebab saya takut in case, utp tak kasik withdraw...
Panjang lebar aku eksplen...
Miss NS: So u decide for yourself. You tak datang jumpe I pon, tanye ke camner ke... Tapi kenapa you nak withdraw?
Aku: Saya takbleh bawak. Subjek nih susah. Saya slalu camni, rasa takbleh bawak saya akan withdraw... Better daripada fail nanti. Saya tau, bile Cik panggil saya ke bilik nih, i have the possibility to be barred, and I know its my fault so... I have to face the consequence.

Miss NS: What, I am telling you saya maybe bar awak tapi awak boleh ok je bile saya nak bar awak? Is that what you're telling me??
Aku: No.... Definitely no! I was telling you, Im talking about the options, what options do I have, if lessay you HAVE TO bar me, and you might not wanna gimme a chance, then I'll withdraw from this subject... That's the only solution. Or else I'll go on.
(Mende2 di atas nih aku cakap lam nada relaks okke, bukan nak tinggi2 suara ke ape.)

Miss NS: Kalau you jumpe i dari awal, i might consider you know. Ada apa students i cakap clash ngan subjek2 lain then i kasik diorang exemptions from my classes... I paham. Tapi you, I tatau nak letak case you ni camner... I tak tau you paham ke tak, atau cemana.
Aku: Hmmmmm....
Miss NS: You are smart you know, I know you are. I can see from your answers in the test. You performed better than those yg slalu pergi kelas I. With you kind of attitude ni, you can get a maximum of B+. Tapi... percayalah I cakap... Kalau you pergi kelas you mmg boleh dapat A...
Aku: Hmmmmmm (lagi!)
Miss NS: You tau ramai tau yg tak pergi kelas I. Ramai lagi, but I only called you to come to my office. You know why? Bcoz I think you have the potential. You tak datang lectures langsung but still manage to give that kind of answers. I bukan nak educate u guys, i nak share my knowledge, bcoz im in the learning process jugak. Dulu I pon malas... Tapi I pk, it's blessings from the lecturers that I wanted.
(Irony that the word blessing had like forever gone from my thoughts... Last was in school. Skang? Dah tak terpk...)
Aku: Saya... Maybe dah take for granted sebab dengar org lain cakap Miss NS tak strict sal attendance. That's y. Lagipun b4 this saya dah terbiasa... Tempat saya blaja dulu attendance was never compulsary so... Saya dah terajar camtu...

Miss NS: You bukan fresh dr spm kan? I can tell from the way you respond. Apa masalah you ni ye... Attitude I nampak ok. You dari mana dulu?
Aku: A'ah I guess Im just plain lazy. *Aku koner2 tak jwb soklan 'dr mana'.

Miss NS: No... No... LAZY IS A SOFT WORD FOR YOU. Lazy nih perangai lelaki... you ni camner aa, cam tak ambik peduli. Tak kisah langsung. You dr mana dulu? Oversea ye? *Dia ulang tanye sbb aku tak jawab! :D
Aku: Urm a'ah...
Miss NS: See! No wonder! I told u, u are smart! Tapi u cepat give up. Dekat uni mana dulu?
Aku: Dekat Sydney.
Miss NS: Ooo... Uni Syd?
Aku: Ooh tak... U***...
Miss NS: Last time saya nak sangat masuk U*** tapi ramai kate susah. Lepas tu saya mintak UCL, London. U r from U*** and u kate this subject susah? Are you kidding me? Kat sana lagi susah!
Aku: Saya tatau la saya ni camner skang. Dulu saya buat engin, saya balik Msia sal nak tuka ke IT. Masa memule balik Msia I scored... Ada motivation. Skang... Entahla...
(Tah nape time nih aku dah sebak... Tringat doomed past life n all. Trus ter-ter-ter nangis sket la. Mektur yg teman aku usap2 paha aku, baik btol dia...)
Miss NS: Eh... Dont cry... I baru je menangis pagi nih... U ni sama cam i tau, maybe bintang kite sama. U bintang ape?
Aku: Leo...
Miss NS: Ooh Leo... Tak sama. Tapi I kenal sangat camner Leo sebab I ada kawan sebijik la macam u. So I understand... Leo, macam singa. Dorang rasa dorang kuat, raja, so boleh relaks aje, lepas tu suke tidur... Tapi bile ada keje dia akan buat sungguh-sungguh. U ada boyfriend?
Aku: Haha! Ada... *Ni glak lam tangisan aa huhu...
Miss NS: Takkan bf takbleh kasik motivation kot... Dia kat sini?
Aku: Tak... Bukan kat sini (utp)
Miss NS: Kat mana?
Aku: Kat KL.
Miss NS: Ooh... Dahlah u jgn sedih2... I bukan nak lecture u ke ape. I cuma rasa u have the potential... Tapi kan, lepas I cakap sume2 nih, ape yg u rasa? Be frank lah, cite camne. Sebab ada certain orang, macam curah air ke daun keladi, takmo absorb...
Aku: Erm... Mmg saya ikhlas cakap I so wanted to study harder. Tapi kalo sal attendance tu... Saya tak brani guarantee.
Miss NS: Fine lah bout the attendance. Ok, I wont bar u if u take my challenge. Will u get at least A- for this subject?
Aku: Ishk... A- trus... Saya tak brani...
Miss NS: Ok la. A- for this coming test. And score for the final?
Aku: Ok... I have to take the challenge. Ill do my best...
Miss NS: Good. Btw, umur u berapa? 22? *Hinss... Kembang idongku!
Aku: Err, Im 25.
Miss NS: Ya Allah!! Why didn't u tell me earlier! Malunye saye... Kalau saya tau dari awal, saya takkan cakap macam ni tadi! Boleh saya ajak awak duduk berdua ke, macam mana ke!
Aku: Aaaa! How old are you Miss NS???
Miss NS: Im just a year older than you! Im 26!
Aku: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Then, dia cam 'malu' sket nak cakap lelama lagi ngan aku. Dok ulang2 nape aku tak cakap umur aku awal2 kat dia. Hehe. Patutnye aku la yg lebih malu! Anyway, of course le aku still respect dia, ape2 pun dia lecturer dan aku student kan? B4 kuar bilik dia, I said sorry and 'thanks for reminding me...'

In life kan, dah suku abad pon aku nih, banyak kali aku face mende2 memalukan 
camnih. Aku banyak blaja to really face the consequences of my actions. Rasa tahap bersabar pon dah bertambah la dr moda2 dulu. Dulu sikit2 hangin, sikit2 hangin. Aku rasa aku banyakkkk blaja dr kesabaran ija. Dia tuh seorang yg tenang, ape2 pon jadik cool je. So sedikit sebanyak aku trikut gak skalik. Trump kate, orang susah sangat nak berubah. Kalo berubah pon jarang le yg btol2 significant kadar perubahan tuh. Tapi, its not like it is something impossible kan?

Kalo dulu kalo buat salah, aku rasa nak lariiiii je. Takut sangat, kekadang tak bertempat. Skang, kalo ada problem ke ape, aku semat kuat2 lam ati, everything will pass. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. Pastu dulu aku jenis takut nak berdepan ngan orang, takut nak wat presentation ngan yg sewaktu dengannye... In fact dulu nak pandang straight kat mate org pon aku takbleh. Skarang aku rasa dah ok. At least for my personal improvement la.

Mmg penting lah nak tackle problem ngan ati terbuka nih. Sebab kalau kite internally strong, orang takkan dapat jatuhkan kite. InsyaAllah. Confident but humble. Aku ngah blaja idop ngan prinsip tu skang. It is important to be seen as calm. Walau bergelodak jiwa kau, kacau camner pon, relaks. Lam idop mmg there were times yg kite slipped off track. Yg penting kene bounce back tuh...

Kite nih, for the sake of illustration, cam duit $50 inggit aa say. Jatuh lam lumpur, kotor la duit tu. Pastu kene conteng, kotor lagi. Tapi still nilai dia $50 inggit tak brubah kan? Tapi kalo tahap komot, koyak ngan dah hancus duit tuh... Dah tadek maknanye la lagi... Talking bout crossing certain border di sini ye... Maksud aku, there are always limits lam dunia ni! Kalau kite wat salah, lumpur tuh mmg terpalit tapi mmg ada cara utk kite betulkan balik ape2 mende yg dah senget tuh...

Arghhh aku dah banyak membebel... Dah terover panjang wahha! Sape soh korang bace pepenat pon kan? Aku taip nih supaya aku seda. Aku harap aku insap dengan bes lepas nih! Tolonggggggg!

Oooo lupe! Wahahaha! Time ngah nangis sikit kat depan Miss NS tuh, buleh tak kontek aku tercabot seblah! Wahahaha! Dia pun prasan masalahnye! Warghhahaha! Malus! :D Itu je, daaaaaa!

	mE October 18, 2005   09:23 AM PDT   hye GF! finally an entry.. :) ala..xmO aa sesedey.. miss NS da realise ur pOtential.. u dO all ur best k? gambate ne!! mE wish u luck!!!

	pingu October 19, 2005   05:13 PM PDT   patut aaa ur ym status"A minusss..here ai come~"hahaha..me tau kak sya buleh..me pon admire kak sya...aja-aja fighting!

	Fara November 1, 2005   08:27 AM PST   sya.. what's your ym id? nak.. org dah bleh access? miss yah.. bgtau ASAP tau!!

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